Sometimes, we like to tiptoe around online dating sites without really taking a chance. We might wind up feeling like a fool. If something isn’t working for you, and you aren’t making good connections, maybe you need to fire up the process.
Online dating can be intimidating. There are all kinds of dangers. And, we might get burned. We might sit back and tell ourselves that he or she will find us, and so we become like wall flowers at the dance, we wait for something to just happen. But, life is short! And, at my age, time is likely getting scarce. Unfortunately, many aged wine people like myself are not used to new aged dating techniques.
How about if we were to stop trying to decide in advance if somebody is right or wrong for us. Take a chance, talk to somebody online the same way you would if you met them at the grocery store. Having a conversation is not a life long commitment. Yet, you never know where it will lead. If you make a friend and not a lover, you have gained, not lost. If you wile away a lonely evening talking to someone online who is too far away, out of your age group or clearly shows other signs that make you realize they are not “the one,” so what?
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something, they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good, in reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place you go to take.
Take a Chance…. you’ll never know how absolutely great something could turn out to be. Or we can sit around and wait and hope to catch up
I read the above words of wisdom on a gentleman’s profile at an online dating site recently. So, I left him a message, letting him know that I appreciate what he wrote. I don’t know if he will even read my message or respond. But, it got me to thinking.
Too many of us sabotage our own chances of ever developing a relationship through online dating by not making a commitment to give it an honest try.
Five Steps to Ignite Your Online Dating:
- A photo is a must! If you are afraid to even show your face, why should someone be interested? Smile into the camera. Include a number of photos. At least one should be a full length standing shot, and it’s nice if you have an action shot that reveals something about your interests, etc. (Leave out the photos with the ex and the selfies)
- Profile descriptions or stories count! “I’ll tell you later” doesn’t work. Some people put up a minimal profile to get a site activated, but it reveals nothing meaningful beyond the basic. If you hope to give in a relationship, describe in a positive way what an online date might receive.
- Use a paid dating site. It helps to filter out at least some of the people who are not serious.
- Use an online dating site with some verification. I like Zoosk because they offer phone, Facebook, and photo verification. If a prospective date has none of these, he might be up to no good. Or, just afraid to put himself out there, to take a chance.
- Spend the time – search, read, send messages, answer messages, rewrite your profile, update your photos, etc. If you have anything in common, I think meeting someone in person is the best way to get to get to know them. Personal relationships are more important than picking out a car or a house. You will make time for what you consider to be a real priority.
Finally, maybe it will be most valuable to adjust our perspective. Consider searching for a relationship with a view toward what we can give, rather than what we can get. Take a chance!
Ann Landers said: Love is friendship that has caught fire — quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. Love settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
May the new year bring you that love, that friendship that has caught fire! And, if you have that love, hold on to it and keep the fire burning!